Perhaps you will wonder how your father can keep quiet while I’m yapping like that notorious rekaman tahu-bulat-limaratusan-digoreng-dadakan-anget-anget-repeat-500x. He just doesn’t talk much. When we started dating, I honestly thought it wouldn’t last longer than three months. Now I’m super grateful he is not as talkative as I am.
I come from a chatty family. My parents and their children talk, argue, and fight with each other a lot. We show dislikes and loudly express opinions. We prefer discussing a problem right away even with shouts and tears so that ten minutes later we can laugh about it. Hence, it was hard for me to deal with silence. That time, I thought one should always say what he wanted and not ask others to read between the lines. And I wanted him to learn to express himself.
Apparently as I’m getting older, I start to realize that I was wrong. Being expressive needs boundaries too. There are times when I regret for having conflict with people or ever publicly writing an opinion out of anger. These days, I see it’s very easy for us to make offensive comments and being inconsiderate toward others. While in fact, those people are not your family. You can’t always set a war in the morning and share ice cream with them during dinner. And that is when I realize what superpower your father always has:
THE ABILITY TO REMAIN SILENT.
Even when you have the temptation to behead someone.
It. Is. So. Hard.
Look, Son. We all need to be communicative and clear about what we want. But (especially) as a man, I want you to have a good control over your emotional expression. Especially again, in social media era, where we tend to overshare everything. Today, a teenage girl who rants on Facebook status is silly but acceptable. However, if you have reached 30s and display too much emotion through your social media accounts, I think you are not okay, Son. I know internet should be exciting and useful and it is up to you how to manage your account. But if you are about to post angry status, biased political views, rude jokes, or just make condescending judgement about others, please think again. Will this action be useful? Will it change something for the better? Will it hurt somebody? Will you be ashamed of it 5 years later? Do you want to educate people or just simply show off your righteousness and make people feel bad? And lastly, don’t you have more important things to do?
I was born short-tempered and it seems that you might inherit a little bit of my genes. I react too fast I sometimes regret it in the future. I just want you not to repeat my mistakes and be a better adult than I am now.