“KALIAN SUCI AKU PENUH DOSYAAHH”: A letter to my future teenage son

Dear Son,

If you turn to be a bad kid or someone who seem to meresahkan masyarakat, my father and I are among the first ones to blame. I really don’t want that, ever. So please read on.


In the next 14 – 15 years I will probably deal with adolescent problems.

You will probably have an idol that I will never understand.

You will probably fancy bad girls or look up at bad boys.

Your role models will probably sing something like this. And if you do too, Son, here’s my comments for you.


 “…..Sejak remaja ku tak pernah meminta biaya untuk bergaya, bukan duit dari orang tua”

Look, Son. It’s wonderful if you are a hard worker and can support yourself. But that doesn’t mean you should get cocky and think that you can do whatever you want without considering your parents’ advice.

“Mereka mengejek, mereka mencela, ini anak nakal, masa depan nggak ada. Memang sekarang aku tak bekerja, bisnisku lebih dari mereka.”

Well, it’s irritating to hear people being judgy about your future. But you can choose to forgive and ignore them. But what do you mean by “lebih”? Are you saying that you are more successful? What is your parameter of success? A huge deal of Instagram endorsement? Are fame and money your life goal? If they are, I must have done something wrong raising you, because I definitely don’t mean that. Money and fame are fun and desired by most people. I wouldn’t deny such blessing either. You can do so much goodness with them. But if you use them only to justify your acts and prove your superiority among your peer without considering the effects to others, you’re making it really hard for me to be proud of you.


“Loe semua lah yang paling benar. Loe semua nilai kita dari luar. Tatoan tapi tak pakai narkoba. Jangan nilai kami dari covernya.”

As a teenager, I used to think that we can do whatever we want and people shouldn’t judge. But 10 years later I have realized that it was the most irrelevant advice ever. Of course people judge. A human brain receives stimuli, analyzes, and makes judgement on what to act, to react, to comment, and to make whatsoever response. Even if we’ve tried so hard to be good, people can still spot your flaws. And that’s okay. But normally, people only see what you choose to show. So you’re the one who gets to decide on how to be perceived, assessed, or in other word, judged. How could you expect people to see you as a pumpkin if you dress like an eggplant?

And I appreciate it that you don’t use drugs. That is wonderful! But if I ever see you smoke, I will be as sad and as angry. Smoking is an underrated danger, Son. It’s a serious public health concern. It’s an unfair business. It’s useless. It stinks. It doesn’t make you look any handsomer. Please tell me one good reason to smoke, because I’ve never heard of any.

“I’m bad girl. Bila kau tak pernah buat dosa. Silahkan hina ku sepuasnya. Kalian semua suci aku penuh dosa.”

I’m not gonna comment much on this because I got it from http://www.azlyric.com. Just a little correction to whoever typed it. I believe it’s “silakan” not “silahkan”.


“I’m bad boy. Kau benci ku yang apa adanya. Dan silahkan sukai mereka. Yang berlaga baik didepan kamera.”

Look, I’m concerned about this mindset. Do you mean that nice looking people are not genuinely nice? Son, I know it’s true that there are fake people everywhere. But there are also many others that are good inside out. People make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. I believe that even the meanest criminal has ever done at least one good deed in his life. But please don’t think that the only way to be true to yourself is by overly displaying the bad side of you.

Remember this, Son. There is a thin line between hypocrisy and maturity.

Hypocrisy is pretending to be someone other than yourself. Maturity is being yourself without harming others.

Hypocrisy is covering up your mistakes with made-up acts so people will never find out. Maturity is admitting your mistakes without excessively showing it off.

Hypocrisy is using fame and money to make people think how good you are. Maturity is using fame and money to inspire people to do something good for themselves and society.

Hypocrisy is concerning your image only. Maturity is concerning the impact of your behavior towards others.


I honestly still find it hard to see the line and keep on the right track but I will try my best. I guess it’s normal if you want to be cool. And if you think your father and I are not cool enough to set for an example, please talk to me. I can introduce you to MANY OTHER PEOPLE in the world who are real proofs that there are good ways of being cool.

So I’m begging you, Son. Choose your heroes wisely.


With so much love and worry,


Categories: Awkward Mother, Teens | 4 Comments

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